So, here you are again. It could just be fate or simply bad time management on your part, but it’s Friday again. The supermarket is heaving, full of those sweet little old ladies who morph into deadly assassins once they start to push that shopping trolley. The eyes in the back of your head switch into overdrive as you dodge those trolleys laden with tins of cat food for Tiddles.
The recent rioting in Britain would have been over in hours if the Government had sent in an army of old ladies with shopping trolleys instead of the Riot Police.
You look down into your basket and inside you’re cursing, or more specifically, cursing your memory. All you’ve got is a pack of your favourite ground coffee, a block of feta cheese and a bottle of olive oil – the items you forgot to purchase the day before, when the supermarket was much quieter.
You’re looking up and down the line again and the queues are like motorway traffic on a public holiday. Ridiculous. A sinking feeling hits you, as you realise there’s another option available – the self-service checkout . . .
You summon up nerves of steel, and then rush towards one that’s available, trying not to think about it too much – trying not to over-analyse . . .
Whoever designed these things is a madman – a cruel, twisted genius. You place your basket down carefully – you don’t want to set any alarms off – and then battle commences . . .
You’re standing there, looking like a juggler on a bad day as you turn each item this way and that, trying to find the bar code and then you scan it and put it straight into the carrier bag that’s suspended on 2 fancy looking coathangers, over the bagging area. You breath a sigh of relief as you successfully complete this task 3 times, and you’re starting to think you’re getting quite good at this, and maybe these touch screens aren’t so bad after all.
Now it’s time to pay, and, even though you wanted to pay cash, you know your performance has peaked now, and have to accept that trying to insert coins and notes into slots and apertures is a step too far. So, you pull out your wallet, take out your cash card and push it into the slot, feeling the tension draining away. The transaction’s almost complete.
Without thinking, while you’re waiting, you place your wallet down next to your bag of groceries in the bagging area and as soon as you hear that voice, ‘Unexpected Item in the Bagging Area’, you know you’ve lost the battle. Again.