Well, I’m soooo glad you made it
Even though you’re two days late
Were you abducted by aliens? Again?
Who shot you into outer space. Again.
I really hope they looked after you
And gave you a slice of cheese from the moon
Because your dinner is all congealed
I can still flick it at you with a spoon
Did you see a man about a dog?
Dressed up in an astro-dog suit.
Where did you park the spaceship?
And what have you got in the boot?
A bucketful of space dust?
And a spade with a laser light
You can build a castle at the beach
I’ll watch the waves wash it out of sight
I can kill with my dagger eyes
And subject you to trial by sarcasm
Which is nowhere near as good
As a slow death by orgasm