I tried TOO HARD

I tried too hard
I maxed out
On my Mastercard

I tried too hard
I swerved around
Another bollard

I tried too hard
I purchased
Too many birthday cards

I tried too hard
Not to be
A boring bastard

I tried too hard
To reach
the lowest standard

I tried too hard
To be pleasant
That was awkward

I tried too hard
To stay in shape
It wasn’t rewarding 

I tried too hard
To expect the unexpected 
I stayed on guard

I tried too hard
In the pub
I got barred

I tried too hard
On the battlefield
I came home scarred

I tried too hard

I Grew Some Balls and Became a Hockey God

Photo by Kalvin Sainz on Pexels.com

I agreed to play in a friendly
Against Mansfield, again
Even though I’m a novice

To date, my performances
Had been lacklustre
Let’s say I’m not a natural

I decided it was time
To grow some balls
And take some responsibility 

Selected in defence, at right-back
If the ball were to go out of play
It would be all mine

And I knew I could play a pass
Over 20 yards
In a variety of directions

So, that’s what I did
I injected some self-belief
Into my head

We won by 5 to 1
I even made a brief forward run
With the ball

As usual, mistakes were made
But, overall, I lost the fear
I finally found second gear

To call myself 
A hockey god
Is a massive exaggeration 

I’ve got a long way
To go, to be half-decent
Even so, it was a giant leap