AUSTERITY CAFE RECIPES: Brexit – A Breakfast Cereal for Hard Core Isolationists

Recipe of the Day with Yannis, the owner of Austerity Café

Yannis takes five minutes out of his kitchen to give us his views on the ingredients needed for a prosperous and flourishing life:

‘Good morning! What a beautiful day. The sun is shining and the cappuccino’s frothing up good. On a morning like this a healthy breakfast is needed, and if the UK is about to leave Europe, then we need to create something special to mark the occasion:

So here it is: Brexit! A fruity cereal for the hard-core isolationists amongst us. It’s a breakfast bowl without ANY European ingredients, but does contain delicacies from far flung exotic places. It will make your taste buds bounce!

First off all, take a few generous handfuls of Brazil nuts and dried African pineapple and throw them into a bowl. Then chuck in some oats from the USA, and at this point say a small prayer and hope they’re not genetically modified, like their politicians.
Then let a few Turkish hazelnuts tumble over the border of the bowl, but not too many! We need to avoid excessive bitterness at all times. To sweeten things up, we then add some sugar from Zimbabwe. Crops grown under a dictatorship are always well behaved. And, if we want to make a really revolutionary, balanced, non-European meal, we go to Cuba, for some beautiful mango, grown in communist fields. Finally, chop up some juicy figs from Saudi Arabia and drop them in, boom!

And there it is, Brexit, ready in a jiffy and a real delight, and I say that without prejudice.’

‘Austerity Cafe – A Rhyme Opera’ is  a production written and performed by Andy Szpuk, an experimental fusion of verse, politics, satire and music, with Paul Quadros on guitar. Look out for forthcoming shows.

STOP PRESS- The next show is at Nottingham Contemporary on 21st May, at 8:30, on a bill with music acts, don’t miss