Droplets of Verse: ‘Kalashnikov Got Shot’

A spate of very suspicious suicides
Kalashnikov shot himself in the back
Some deaths attributed to misuse of cyanide
Several unfortunate bath-time heart attacks
Injuries inconsistent, not from shaving with a razor
Nooses knotted efficiently, for maximum effect
Suicide notes tucked into the top pocket of a blazer
Written incredibly neatly, the grammar always perfect

Droplets of Verse: ‘Margaret Thatcher’s Greatest Hits’

She considered Tony Blair a magnificent achievement
Fit to take the reins of her Tory government
Labour Party ideology shifted from left to right
Tony Blair’s philosophy was economically Thatcherite

Then came David Cameron, Bullingdon Club graduate
A walking fat wallet, desperate to emulate
Thatcher’s march towards private ownership of state assets
Bundles of banknotes folded into rich men’s pockets

Droplets of Verse: ‘Motorola’

An unrecognised republic ruled by unelected executioners
Ukrainian soldiers taken prisoner,  beaten then slaughtered
Motorola boasts of his brutality, his bloodthirsty inhumanity
A Moscow minion, murdering to maintain maximum insanity
Motorola brags and boasts of his casual, cold-hearted killing
A war criminal likely to be decorated by Vladimir Putin
He told his gruesome story, without shame, to a journalist
One day, along with many, Motorola must be brought to justice


Droplets of Verse: ‘Oven-baked Political Deception’

UKIP candidates have clearly got a lot on their plates
Their policies are overloaded with monotonous glutamate
Pastry inspectors lick their lips when confronted with allegations
UKIP branded sausage rolls are served up to get votes at elections
Ignoring the electoral rules as if they are simply a stale crust
UKIP candidates present potential supporters with illicit baked goods
A sausage roll is a symbol of embedded, slow roasted political corruption
Voters tuck into a deeply delicious helping of oven-baked deception

Droplets of Verse: ‘Milking the Propaganda Cow’

Keen to promote his image as a family man
Cameron stuffed a bottle of milk down the throat of a lamb
It might have been George moonlighting, in his onesie
Cameron and the lamb bonded magnificently
A discussion around the nuances of economic strategy
Didn’t take place. Cameron played it nice and fluffy
All over the UK, mothers may have felt a warm glow
Cameron in the barn, milking the propaganda cow

Droplets of Verse: ‘A Posh Boys’ Network Exploiting a Nation’

The expenses scandal was a terrible nuisance
For the posh boys, who nursed a long grievance
They couldn’t fill their pockets fast enough
Consultancy fees poured into an overflowing trough
Tax evasion a favourite spectator sport of politicians
Offshore accounts opened when still at Eton
Hacking the phones of celebrities a smokescreen
Distracting from the neoliberal money machine

Droplets of Verse: ‘Jeremy Shoots Blanks’

Jeremy Paxman, synonymous with Mister Clarkson
Loaded questions and a lazy, limited lexicon
Sleaze bags squirm, waiting to be fried by Jezza
Paxman doesn’t juggle, goes straight for the jugular
Trial by typical tabloid, slogan style, questioning
Leaning to one side, eyes penetrating, mouth sneering
An electoral debate hosted in a patronising manner
Jeremy shoots blanks, a man who’ll never find the answers

Droplets of Verse: ‘The Prime Minister Who Refused to Eat Three Shredded Wheat’

Instinctively, he knew they would there on a plate
Enough votes in the box from an admiring electorate
Cameron politely declined the third term in office
Before even contesting the second, didn’t even win the first
Food banks flourished in his all day breakfast of austerity
He refused a third shredded wheat, that would have been greedy